It is New Years eve and there are hundreds of things running through my mind, one of them being my New Year Resolution list. I look up the goals I wrote last year – some of them are a done deal, some are there to stay forever and will probably never materialise. I don’t know whether I want to learn to drive anymore, whether I want to become location independent, whether I want to find love, whether I want to see that one person again. I can probably copy and paste all those goals into 2016 list and see if I can somehow achieve them and if not, may be move them into the next year’s list. The blunt truth is that I want to start my list with the words – “I don’t know what I want”.
How would I describe 2015? Hectic to say the least. I thought 2015 would be the year of me building the foundation for my future digital nomad lifestyle. Well, it was not. I made some bad choices, I’ve overestimated the importance of money, I allowed others to slowly lure me into my comfort zone again. It’s been a year of choices and revelations. I was a mess in 2015 – spent an unmemorable year in New York, went to Australia, came back wanting to move to Australia, applied and got accepted to Melbourne university, volunteered for the first time, survived through Nepal earthquake, wasted six months of my life slowly degrading at my desk job at South Korean embassy, switched jobs for I can’t even remember how many times. I realized that the more experiences I have the more boring the world becomes. The universe unravels one layer after another, like an onion and the closer you get to the center, the thinner and more unsubstantial it becomes, until one day you reach the hollowness. So do I want to keep going only to find out what I already know?
I look out of the window. It is snowing. The snowflakes are like stars who lost their way in the skies and decided to try their luck on earth instead. They are all falling, some faster than others, some don’t even reach the ground but get stuck in the tree branches, some collide, form a perfect pattern and continue their journey, may be a bit slower than before, some change their course and end up hundred miles away from where they intended to be. In the end they form a perfect white veil, that covers the dirt and makes the world glitter and shine.
We are all stars here. We fight through life and sometimes lose our way. And we shine when we are around people, especially people who love us and believe in what we do. So I am going to put it that way: that 2016 New Years Resolution list is not about what I want, it is about how I can help others. Does not it suddenly make this task the most important and yet the easiest one to accomplish?
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